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Showing posts from September 13, 2020

Confusing Emotions After Assault Pt 2

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Finally. It’s not a newborn photo but it’s close to what I wanted: a clear image of me to connect with my inner child, as if it were my child, to treasure and to hold onto when I can’t love myself. My aunt sent this to me a few days ago and I bawled.
Today my spouse dropped my son off at his Grandma’s and I have our space to myself. Wildfire smoke blankets the trees and roadside. Tiny, toxic particles seep indoors. This year has been one shocking setback after the other, and the past week has had the most stressful days in 2020. I’m asthmatic and can have intense claustrophobia at times. I imagined quarantine would drive me bonkers but I can’t even open a window and breathe fresh air!
Before the smoke blew in, my family and I enjoyed a gorgeous day, hiking. I felt happy. And, as I write this, I'm okay again. What can I say, I'm used to the rollercoaster! The air purifier that came in the mail has been a lifesaver and the quietness helps me gather my thoughts. I’ve summoned the s…