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Showing posts from July 12, 2020

My Struggle With Christianity

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One of the last occasions I visited a church was in this photo, a little over a year ago. It was not entirely a religious function but a wedding - a Message wedding. The preacher who once snapped scissors and swung his crutches at me conducted the ceremony. His complexion was zealously flushed, contrasting his collar and even whiter locks of hair. I don't mention names for the sake of peace. His inheritance is worth millions, and in no time my inbox might overflow with threatening legal letters. I’ll choose my battles, though I can promise you every word I say stems from a trauma memory.
The newlyweds were young and beautiful. The fresh-faced bride, my spouse’s relative, had natural hair let down in styled curls. How did Message woman manage to look so effortlessly gorgeous?! Was she loved, confident? How bittersweet. I'd longed to marry in this church, my father walking me down the aisle. My first escape plan involved the fantasy of marriage. But here now with a devilish slit,…